In which the middle-aged Peacenik mouths off about War Drones--and all the other things that make him cranky.

Mr Mahatma--who is a Mr in real life--lives in the valleys of Southern California with his wife, a herd of Dears, and an impressive collection of books. Pnorny!
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Little Mr Mahatma
Monday, July 23, 2007  
Being and Emptiness
My life is over - bleak, empty, void. Now every moment is a struggle, a perpetual question of "Why bother?". It is, simply, over.

And I know why it happened and when and how and I couldn't stop it, couldn't avoid draining my life's worth untila ll was empty.

It started with "God of War". This Playstation 2 has garnered a million awards and sold 10 times more copies. I had bought a copy of the game a year ago and never played it. It sat in a drawer with a few other games that I knew someday I'd get around to...someday.

And about a month ago someday happened. A free weekend with a few hours to fill and out came the stack. I decided to give each game a solid 1/2 hour of play, figuring that'd be plenty of time to determine whether the game was a keeper or not.

Let me confess now that I had little hopes for any of the games because frankly I'm a computer gamer, not a PS2 gamer. I grew up with computers and was in gaming from the early days of the Apple 2. For me, computer games peaked with Doom, Diablo 2, Warlords 2, Starcraft, and Duke Nukem. Everything after that was more of the same. Worse, I couldn't "get" console controllers. They're harder than a keyboard and mouse. You can't twiddle with console files as easily as with computer files. Consoles are for kids.

So I thought. I started through the pile and one game after another fell by the wayside. Then "God of War". I loaded it and started playing, thinking that I wouldn't like the control but it was OK. Hmmm, mythology, hack 'n' slash, naked bosoms, hidden chests - I played games kind of like this before but not like this. This was freaking awesome!

I finished "God of War" in about a week and passed it on to my kids.

A quick aside. "God of War" is rated "M for Mature" because of the gore and naked bosoms. Yet, I let my kids watch me play. They saw the gore and the bosoms, adn didn't care. They were captivated by the puzzles, the play, and the theme. If anything they now know that war is not clean or heroic or fun but gross, scary, and not to be taken lightly. I didn't make a fuss over the bosoms and they didn't get fixated. Maybe something there to be learned.

Anyway. I finished "God of War" and went right out and got "God of War 2". Same thrill and involvement - pure escapism. I couldn't and didn't want to stop playing. I finished it in even less time than "God of War" and felt...drained, lost. I wanted more. I wanted "God of War 3" NOW!!! But that game doesn't exist.

That was last week.

I thought I was getting over "God of War" until last Saturday. That's when the family went to the local mall, to the bookstore, and I got "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows". I started reading the book that night - 200 pages down. Sunday I told the family to leave me alone. 550 pages later I was done. The series was over what?!?

No more "God of War". No more Harry Potter. Life feels so bleak and empty now. I don't know if I can make it until Friday the 27th when The Simpsons Movie and what will happen when that series ends?

8:11 PM

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