"YAY! We did it! We kicked Saddam's butt! Aren't we great? We bombed his butt - HA, HA! We went in and kicked Iraqi ass!!! We own them!!! Bring on the next bunch of ragheads. We are so awesome!

It was tough there for a while - NOT! It looked like the Iraqis may have had some fight in them - NOT!

I know I did my part. I drank black coffee like what the troops drink. I wore my regulation-like army boots with appropriate desert camouflage pants and a "Death From Above" t-shirt. (If I could join the military I'd be a Airborne Ranger - they rock!!) I played "Americas Army". I posted "Support our troops!" signs everywhere. I watched Fox and bought gas, even though the prices suck. I even threw rocks at those stupid anti-war protesters. What a bunch of losers! War is bad - boohoo! The war is illegal - boohoo! Bush is a criminal - boohoo! 'Give Peace A Chance!'

Screw you, pathetic whiners. We should throw you all in jail, you terrorist-loving scum! We should just kill you all dead.

Oh wait. I have to be politically correct here. War is terrible and I'm very, very sad that people got hurt or killed. I cried a lot at night thinking about the innocent civilians, especially the mothers and children, that got killed. I cried thinking of our brave troops getting killed, even though we probably killed more of our guys than what the Iraqis could muster. I cried a lot over the journalists who got killed when they were just doing their jobs. This war made me very, very, very unhappy because I care about people and all living things. I have a dog that I pet quite a bit. Yes, this war made me think about how bad war is with those evil Iraqis trying to kill us.

But then I think about how we kicked Saddam's and his stupid son's butts and I'm happy again. We are so l33t!!

Whew! I think our boys have the cleanup in hand so I'm gonna go back to Splinter Cell, maybe hit the beach, hang out on Highland, and later catch the Vin Diesel flick at the multiplex.

Yep, it sure was tough. War *IS* hell - I don't know *HOW* I managed the last couple of weeks."

Eating Crow

Some pompous pro-war jackass wrote in to the Los Angeles Times with a message for us anti-war types: Eat crow!

This neanderthal of civilization obviously relished the war as an awesome display of America's military might - Rah! Rah! - and nothing deeper than that.

There was never any doubt or argument even from us anti-war types that we wouldn't win in Iraq. That's not why we protest. We hate the lies that were used as justification for invasion. We hate the evasion when we question those lies. We hate the cronyism, of divvying up the spoils before the war began. We hate the irresponsible use of military power. We hate that America, once a respected nation, has a tarnished image, a nation to be feared and not respected; we're nothing more than a bully hungry for expanding our influence and control. We hate the media being used as pawns. We hate that more civil liberties disappeared in the name of Security. We hate that the United Nations is now nothing more than a dispenser of bandages. We hate that Democracy no longer includes Diplomacy. We hate the "Might Makes Right" mentality. We hate the "ends justifies the means" morality.

And we will continue to protest against illegal use of Government properties and people, against abuse of position, against trashing our Constitution and Democracy.

Two More Excuses To Invade Syria

Completely obvious excuses for invasion of Syria. Apologies for not including them on my list way below.

- Syria is hiding Saddam. That's right. We can't prove he's bitsies in the bomb rubble. With rumors of Hussein's survival and fleeing Iraq likely to Syria we can smugly give Syria 48 hours to turn him over to us for Justice or we will invade. No way can Syria prove they're not hiding Hussein so in we go guns a-blazing.

- We didn't find Weapons of Mass Destruction because they were exported to Syria. That's right! And if Syria doesn't disarm within 48 hours we will invade. We won't need inspectors because Syria leadership like Iraqi leadership is too crafty to leave any proof lying around. And after we invade and don't find WoMD we can claim they were moved again...to Iran. Kind of like Hot Potato.