In which the middle-aged Peacenik mouths off about War Drones--and all the other things that make him cranky.

Mr Mahatma--who is a Mr in real life--lives in the valleys of Southern California with his wife, a herd of Dears, and an impressive collection of books. Pnorny!
He is reachable at:
littlemrmahatma@yahoo.com

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Little Mr Mahatma
 
Wednesday, April 09, 2003  
Is Next!


Very subtle. A couple of weeks ago the concern was on Iraq and kind of on North Korea. Then as the war started the focus shifted to Iraq, with some warnings to Iran and Syria not to interfere. Then a few days ago Bush announces that there are no plans what-so-ever to "liberate" Iran and Syria. And yesterday a commentary in the paper about how Bush must be concerned with North Korea and Iran since both countries have nuclear weapons programs. Another commentator today mentions that the justifications for war in Iraq would easily apply for a war on Syria. And today the Undersecretary of the U.S. gave a friendly warning to Syria, Iran, and North Korea about pursuing Weapons of Mass Destruction and directly addressed Syria (and other Mid-East countries) to consider "new possibilities" for peace. Translation: See Iraq - cross us and adios.


So given that we control Iraq, where to go next? North Korea, Iran, or Syria? Hmmmmm, tough choice. And what excuse will Bush use this time to invade? How about:

- [Iran/Syria/North Korea], with its program of "nucular" development, poses a direct threat to the safety and security of the United States. We must therefore remove their Weapons of Mass Destruction as we have done in Iraq.
- We have indisputible evidence that [Syria/Iran] supports terrorist groups like Al Qaeda.
- We have indisputible evidence that [Iran/Syria] helped Iraqi fighters during the past conflict even after we warned them not to.
- Iran and Iraq have a long history of animosity. With Iraq undergoing regime change we must remove the temptation for Iran to invade.
- [Iran/Syria] Their people call out to me for liberation...
- [re Iran/Syria] I hear they have these nice oil fields that just aren't producing right...


And then Lebanon, Saudi...


Here are the opening odds of America's next* Candidate for Democracy:
Syria 1-1 - Tactically this country should be far easier to liberate than Iraq. Smaller than Iran and surrounded by U.S. "friendlies", this country is toast.
Iran 3-1 - Could be a chore to liberate but the oil should make it worth the while. Not next in line but on the list.
Lebanon 5-1 - Just to clean out the area between Syria and Israel. Mo' Democracy, mo' Democracy.
Venezuela 10-1 - A quiet visit down south to show our military flexibility and expand our influence. Ummmm, oil....
North Korea 20-1 - No oil, just China sitting in back. Darn "nucular" situation. Not much reason to invade yet.
Pakistan 25-1 - The big hideout for bin Laden. We're friendly with Pakistan...this week.
Afghanistan 35-1 - If tribal warfare acts up or the Taliban remnants even dare threaten our oil interests...back in we go.
Mexico 50-1 - Solve the immigration problem by shrinking the southern border and get a little oil. Got to like "Texas" taking over Mexico.
France 100-1 - Teach them about not unequivocally backing us up. Damned good food, drink, and arts. Dibs on taking an American leak off the Eiffel.
Israel 200-1 - Bush needs to control Har Megiddo for the End of Days.
Russia 500-1 - Russia's a mess and could benefit from our political experience. Excellent resources could provide nice kickback. Russia's size a barrier though.
Albania 1000-1 - Why not? For those who like long odds.


* 'next' means "directly in line next" not "eventual". Georgie likely has plans for all of the above mentioned countries, except maybe Albania.


After taking out...I mean...liberating Syria, Iran, Lebanon, and Iraq, heck Jordan may just give us the keys to the kingdom. And then after that - Big Time Georgie! - it's Saudi Arabia and finally real revenge for 9/11...


Woo-hoo! That's why America Rocks! We have a real manly President in our Georgie. Terrorists blow up the Trade Center, we take over the Middle East. That's big brass balls and nothing will stop King Crusader George from his God-appointed mission.


In fact, you know something. Our Democracy SUCKS!!! We don't need it. Screw it - we need a monarchy! A man who is not just King but King and God's right hand man. Yes, Bush can do it. He has proven himself by defeating worthy opponents. He is morally unimpeachable. All Hail King George!! ALL HAIL KING GEORGE!!! SIEG...


8:19 AM

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